Crusty Sue

You are always there my faithful,
the reason why I dont go out to pull.
You will never hurt or leave me
they dont understand, they dont see.
No matter where I go, you'll be by my side,
'it will never work,' they chorusly snide.

I love you Crusty Sue,
my guilty pleasure.
You fit perfectly, made to measure.

Once again, I come home alone,
in my pants, I'm hard as a bone.
Then you appear my faithful friend,
we both know how this will soon end.
For those many, many who may mock,
shes more to me than just a wank sock.

I love you Crusty Sue,
my guilty pleasure.
You fit perfectly, made to measure.

Laying next to you in my warm bed,
have you here, than a woman instead.
my head is spining, myself a tired mess,
waking up late, alarm blaring, time to dress.
Sock on my foot, uncrusts, becomes unstuck
yes, its the one full of my dry man muck.

I love you Crusty Sue,
my guilty pleasure.
You fit perfectly, made to measure.

There was that one awkward moment,
she had my house keys, a way into mine.
My 'then' girlfriend, walked in on me,
passed out drunk, pants folded on my knee.
You were on there, doing your magical thing
creased, crumpled on my ding-a-ling.

I love you Crusty Sue,
my guilty pleasure.
You fit perfectly, made to measure.