all I am to you

I am not what you want to see,
what you hope, believe in me to be.
All I am is my mothers misery.

I warned you to stay well back,
please dont come closer I'll attack.
All I am is my minds sad & black.

I am kept secure, safe in this cage,
where I can perform on my own stage.
All I am is my fathers deep rage.

I live in my self imposed isolation
dead inside, full of wanting frustration,
All I am is lonely oneman nation.

I punish myself for reasons forgotten,
the inside my core dank, completely rotten.
All I am is weak like delicate cotton.

I fall down into the dark musty floor,
hands bloodied from beating at the cell door.
All I am is a dying lions last roar.

I slump to the ground about to drown,
my face is scarred from my angry frown.
All I am to you is a unfunny clown.

I feel my life fading, final breath,
my long awaited friend arrives, thats death.
All I am to you is a pathetic mess.
(say mess with a lisp, otherwise it doesnt work)