never heal but fade

These scars run
from the cause to a result.
A journey I dont
want anyone to have to take.
If I ever get lost,
I have these paths to follow.
Never look back always forward.

all I am to you

I am not what you want to see,
what you hope, believe in me to be.
All I am is my mothers misery.

I warned you to stay well back,
please dont come closer I'll attack.
All I am is my minds sad & black.

I am kept secure, safe in this cage,
where I can perform on my own stage.
All I am is my fathers deep rage.

I live in my self imposed isolation
dead inside, full of wanting frustration,
All I am is lonely oneman nation.

I punish myself for reasons forgotten,
the inside my core dank, completely rotten.
All I am is weak like delicate cotton.

I fall down into the dark musty floor,
hands bloodied from beating at the cell door.
All I am is a dying lions last roar.

I slump to the ground about to drown,
my face is scarred from my angry frown.
All I am to you is a unfunny clown.

I feel my life fading, final breath,
my long awaited friend arrives, thats death.
All I am to you is a pathetic mess.
(say mess with a lisp, otherwise it doesnt work)

crying over spilt milk

.SpiltMilk.
Broken milk bottle,
sees the mess. Mother beats me.
Tears run down my face.

Self Hate

The problem with self harm is if you try and get help and tell friends, they ten just to shout at you for being silly.

Well, ok then if you're just going to shout at me, then i wont tell you next time it happens.

But now if i ever get a cut on my arm, i get asked if im harming again, no i just caught my arm on some brambles as i was walking. Are you sure? they reply, dont believe me then!

They're like homemade tattoos except they go deep into your soul.